Sunday, 4 September 2011

clap trap

Hi blogfreunds!

My colleague asked what the wet patch was. I told him it was the local cats, the locals suffered the same problem. 
"such a nuisance!", i said. 
I didn't have the courage to tell him I thought the toilet was 1 storey too far.



After putting the tarp back on, I needed to go again though. Too late!

On a hot summer's day, the local towns people complained of the strange odour. Unfortunately for us, the membrane is made out of dinosaur skin, that makes it impenetrable. We pleaded to the prince for help. 

He gave us the queen's needle and the towns folk rejoiced.



So thankful were we to the prince, we built him some chair legs. In his wisdom however, he advised we use them to avoid our past mistakes. "Build a cat trap", he said


And thus we did. Cats like to play with string. When they see the string they'll jump towards it and the floor will fall. That prince can be so mean but the prince assured us cats always land on their feet. They're practically suicide proof.




Where there's cheese, there's mice! That's what cats think, so we built a cheese floor to hide the trap door.



Tidy the joins



and a picnic blanket. Who can resist a picnic, right?

Hope you're all well rested, cause there's loads more work this week. I'm kidding!

I'm not :D

God bless your sleep socks

Friday, 26 August 2011

mean ol' ship

In an energy conscious world, our ladders are for upward movement only.



To get down


yes


We walk the plank

Because it was sunny, the quiet traffic allowed a quick ambulance response.

For

(delivered in the style of taffin)

For Prince Williaa..


aaaa...



...aaaaa...


..aaa...


...aaamm!

every morning

I like to stretch


and break out 50 chin ups


on each roof beam


I'm not allowed to touch the floor in between sets or Prince William will die

retarded updates

Yes, i've been slow on project updates. Back catalogue uploading...

Thursday, 25 August 2011

minor to major

Hi bloggers, I have an iPhone.

Normally, I'd leave you with that statement and bowl off to the next random victim to expose my royal smugness to. However, the kind steward who hath gifted me this left it with his unique fingerprint - damaged in a toilet accident.



Screwdrivers, check. Pry tools, check. Guitar pick, check. Wait, guitar pick? It was sent in the kit. I passed it to my mariachi and opened up the phone to the soundtrack of sexy classical


In the videos i've seen, the glass panel pops out in one go. 
When the glass is shattered into tiny bits however, you sit down and peel your boiled egg like it was the '30s depression.









- posted from my iPhone



*Note; I can send a text message. Eat it.


Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Underground

we found this little guy hiding in the cavity wall.
"what are you doing here?", we asked
"Thank god you found me!", he cried. "I was playing hide and seek, but no one came"
"Aw, there there my spout bodied friend"
"Sympathy? Bah! I'm an art critic don't you know?"
"You do have a commanding elegance about you. Hey, I have some friends who are building tunnels? Do you want to hang out with them?"
"I love tunnels!"

We moved the Art Critic by these little guys, Pipey and Pipski. They all bonded wonderfully! Mostly because Pipey and Pipski were agreeable and nodded along to the Art Critic.


But then Riser appeared (I don't make up these names), look at his grumpy mouth,
"Pipey, Pipski! You must choose, are you my friend or his?"

We pulled him aside.
"Psst, Riser. What's with the mean face?"
"It's that art critic, look at his proud air! He thinks he's better than me!"
A silence settled whilst his fury dissipated. 

 "It's probably true", he conceded. "I don't have his elegance. I don't even have a hat!"
"We could make you one?"
"Really? Could it be built to military specifications?"
"Sure!"



Over a blackboard, several cups of coffee and the pantone colour catalogue, we built something the client could be proud of.

Gullwing brimmed hat

Concrete body

 Urban camouflage (and pee proof).

With confidence restored the four of them became great friends, playing tunnels all summer long. Riser, Pipey, Pipski and the Art Critic, what a wonderful freundschaft. 

Adieu!