mean ol' ship

In an energy conscious world, our ladders are for upward movement only.

To get down

yes

We walk the plank

Because it was sunny, the quiet traffic allowed a quick ambulance response.

For

(delivered in the style of taffin)

For Prince Williaa..

aaaa...

...aaaaa...

..aaa...

...aaamm!

every morning

I like to stretch

and break out 50 chin ups

on each roof beam

I'm not allowed to touch the floor in between sets or Prince William will die

retarded updates

Yes, i've been slow on project updates. Back catalogue uploading...

minor to major

Hi bloggers, I have an iPhone.

Normally, I'd leave you with that statement and bowl off to the next random victim to expose my royal smugness to. However, the kind steward who hath gifted me this left it with his unique fingerprint - damaged in a toilet accident.

Screwdrivers, check. Pry tools, check. Guitar pick, check. Wait, guitar pick? It was sent in the kit. I passed it to my mariachi and opened up the phone to the soundtrack of sexy classical

In the videos i've seen, the glass panel pops out in one go. 

When the glass is shattered into tiny bits however, you sit down and peel your boiled egg like it was the '30s depression.

- posted from my iPhone

*Note; I can send a text message. Eat it.

Underground

we found this little guy hiding in the cavity wall.
"what are you doing here?", we asked

"Thank god you found me!", he cried. "I was playing hide and seek, but no one came"

"Aw, there there my spout bodied friend"
"Sympathy? Bah! I'm an art critic don't you know?"

"You do have a commanding elegance about you. Hey, I have some friends who are building tunnels? Do you want to hang out with them?"
"I love tunnels!"

We moved the Art Critic by these little guys, Pipey and Pipski. They all bonded wonderfully! Mostly because Pipey and Pipski were agreeable and nodded along to the Art Critic.

But then Riser appeared (I don't make up these names), look at his grumpy mouth,

"Pipey, Pipski! You must choose, are you my friend or his?"

We pulled him aside.

"Psst, Riser. What's with the mean face?"
"It's that art critic, look at his proud air! He thinks he's better than me!"

A silence settled whilst his fury dissipated. 

 "It's probably true", he conceded. "I don't have his elegance. I don't even have a hat!"

"We could make you one?"

"Really? Could it be built to military specifications?"
"Sure!"

Over a blackboard, several cups of coffee and the pantone colour catalogue, we built something the client could be proud of.

Gullwing brimmed hat

Concrete body

 Urban camouflage (and pee proof).

With confidence restored the four of them became great friends, playing tunnels all summer long. Riser, Pipey, Pipski and the Art Critic, what a wonderful freundschaft. 

Adieu!

hold cut attack!

Come come, copains auf die welt! Let me show you around the expert fixings we have on site. 

Where we can, we opt not to use screws or nails - it cuts into the wood and daggers its spirit. The number one choice for Studio Bonded Heritage is the use of clamps and cramps. 

I think you'll agree with us when we say its architectural finish is second to none.

To the untrained eye, these drilled holes might appear the work of a blundering craftsman - they are not! Transgressive materials answer to an 18v DeWalt cordless drill and a cruel hand. Then we console it with text messages (21st century poet's mode of choice, yes?).

As mentioned earlier, we fixed him in by mistake. Sorry template x.50 (more text messages).

So here's a true story (I know, they're rare here).

Cutting out the windows with our newly purchased no expense spared £2.60 router trimmer bit. Joy, new tools!

Locked in

Lined up

Cutting...

...and then the bit flies off. 

Goodbye £2.60.

Switch to the ryoba.

It cuts so fast

so you don't have to. 

Remember kids, Ninjitsu

+ carpentry 

= perfectly aligned views. Always.

Now I'm off to gulp the weekend air. Whatever happens, my happy champions, i say an amen to you and the universe

:)