Zen ist so geil

The above example shows a man being a regular hazey daze on the compact plate.

This is the technique we here at Solar Lexus Landscaping excel at delivering; low centre of gravity sweeping. Comes equipped with variable forearm strength.

Zen raking

Some doughnuts on the Belle Plate Compactor FCLX 320 (<yes, say it again. Slower. Softer. Das is so geil)

Now the sand box is ready for one giant mountain tiger turd. 

Wish you a good evening, freunde!

Giant Cookie Cutter

To bake something the size of your garden, you're gonna need a lot of ingredients. Sounds like a lot of work right? Wrong

We here at Team Spiritual High Five utilise a technique that marries erect spine posture with witchcraft.

The barrows are imbued with our spiritual energy (trained through a daily regime of disco, non contact karate and atmospheric vocal harmonisation). 

The spiritual energy is so intense that the barrows whizz along collecting wet concrete from building suppliers across the UK depositing it in our trench. That's the concrete done!

After a morning of intense disco and rice, it's time to tackle the oversite. By focussing our mental powers (and erect postures), we increased the size of the barrow. 

Of course, having a strong body with a strong mind is essential to our advanced building techniques. 

That's why I had my new set of weights delivered.

You might think with our pure minds, pure bodies and the power of disco we're above peeing on the site. Wrong. Besides, as a rule I never flush.

Oh, these are the stakes we throw at people in the street to practice our non contact karate!! We never get hit!

Look closer

hiya freunde!

i'm a digger digger digger

Step 1: Laying out

Utilising Pythagoras' theorem and some string, try and make it as complicated as possible. 

Step 2:

Soak the lawn to a mud caked consistency.

Tie concrete blocks to your shoes and jump from a tall neighbouring building on to your line. Hopefully with enough force, you should sink into the ground and acquire a clean excavated trench as above. 

Step 3:

Repeat until all lines have been thoroughly stomped, completing your layout. 

The concrete slab above is what happens when your colleague leaps with too much fun. I had to put it there to halt his enjoyment.

Step 4:

Pull up a garden chair, a glass of Orange juice from Del Monte and start penning your new book of poetry.